Parental alienation syndrome disguises itself in many different ways. What could be a young boy just growing up, can turn into a comparison to the "ex" by the mother. I recently had a friend of mine at work talking about her 14 year old son was not following her direction. She didn't understand the fact that he was 14 and could possibly be rebelling. I listened to her discuss the fight they had and how important it was for her to transfer closer to home so she could control him. He is as stupid as "his father". She actually told him that, and compared her son to the "ex". Wow, my heart was broken for her son. No matter how bad your "ex" is to you, your child will love them as much as they love you. You see, all the kids see is a "parent". After all, they couldn't be that bad since you married them, stayed with them long enough to have a child. (the kid you're comparing them to!)
Mom/Dad whoever is reading this. Please don't bash the other in front of your children. Take the higher road and never slam the "ex". No matter how tempting it can be. In the heat of the moment, stop, breathe and deal with the problem at hand. It could be a simple teenage season in your life. How I wish to have one more day with Amy to deal with "teenage rebellion".
Things to think about:
Chose your words wisely, think before you speak.
Never compare your child to your negative "ex". Only share the positive attributes. (Try to find at least one!)
Be there for your kid. Dig into the details of their day. It will mean so much if you just hear their fears, don't volunteer solutions, just hear them. A solid-loving time to share will mean the world to them. Once you hear them out, they'll ask for your advice. Most rebellion is a test for you mom/dad. You can pass it if you're ahead of the game.
Love to the kids and step-kids........
